DREAMS OF CELEBRATION
By Jeanine Lesniak, Crone’s Cupboard
In ancient and not-so-ancient times, winter was a time of rest and introspection. It was a time of family gatherings, reading, carving and sewing, sitting by the fire and planning. And, it was a time of dreaming.
Dreams happen while we’re asleep, but we also have waking dreams. Sometimes frowned upon as “daydreams”, these musings allow for inspiration, creativity and distillation of ideas. These dreams are the seeds of who we will become and what we will accomplish and/or represent. For example, if our waking dreams are full of vengeful thoughts, we will become mean and bitter people. But if we focus our daydreaming on joyful memories, we will be loving and cheerful. People who visualize themselves as superheroes are strong and just, while folks who replay tales of victimization will feel weak and lack hope. And so on.
We spend far more time in this state of awake dreaming than any of us would admit. In fact, we are constantly playing out scenarios of getting back at our boss, finding the perfect love, being in positions of power, winning the lottery, taking a dream vacation, etc. We have been doing this so steadily for so long that it is hardly noticeable to us anymore. It even becomes somewhat subconscious. Then, whenever we are not consciously focused on something else, the story runs in our heads and we’re so used to it that it doesn’t even signal an alarm in our minds.
These stories have two themes:
1. I want what I don’t have
2. I don’t want what I do have.
Either way, they express dissatisfaction with our situations as they are and longing to have our situations be different. If these musings result in real, honest, lasting and positive change in our lives and/or in the world, they are positive. Prior to the invention of flush toilets, someone must have been dissatisfied with the smell and inconvenience of outhouses. That person’s daydreams led to action to bring about realistic and helpful change. This is the ideal use of daydreams.
Unfortunately, most of our daydreams do not end in positive change. Rather, they spiral down into hopelessness and depression because they center on (at the risk of being redundant): 1. I want what I don’t have 2. I don’t want what I do have. Whether it’s the economy, the job (or lack of), the relationship (or lack of), the money, education, home, family, health, talents, looks or whatever, we want what we don’t have, and we don’t want what we do have. So we swing back and forth between fantasy and victimization, never coming up with any solid insights or resolutions.
Is there a way out of this dilemma? Of course there is. Spirit always opens the way for peace. And the way Spirit has provided for us to have peace in this instance is GRATITUDE for what is, NOW. As always, Spirit’s solution is simple and sounds easy, but may prove a little more difficult in the practical application. So let’s break it down into steps.
Step 1. Acceptance
The fact is, the NOW is what it is. There is no gain in questioning why or why me, nor is there any advantage in resisting what is. Even if you can change it tomorrow, it still is what it is IN THIS NOW. So take a deep breath, release and surrender to the moment. There is an old story about a peasant man who found a wild horse. In his culture and time, only the very rich had horses, so the man’s neighbors said, “What excellent fortune! How the gods have smiled on you! You have found a horse and are now a rich man!” But the man simply said, “It could be good, it could be bad, but it surely is.” Soon, the man’s only son began to tame the horse, but the horse threw him. The son’s leg broke and never mended properly. So the neighbors said, “How sad and unfortunate for you! Your only son is lame! How the gods have turned their backs on you!” But the man said, “It could be good, could be bad, but it surely is.” Not long after the accident, the army came to the man’s village, drafting all the sons for war. Every teenage son was taken upon pain of death. But the army passed over the young man who was lame. They left him at home in the comfort and love of his family. Once again, the neighbors said, “How fortunate you are! All of our sons were drafted and will probably be lost in battle, but your son has been spared! Your son will marry and provide you with grandchildren to comfort you in your old age! The gods have most certainly granted you a boon this day!” And the man said, “Could be good, could be bad, but it surely is.” For every event that occurs in our lives, we could make up many positive or negative daydreams. But the truth is, we don’t know until many years later (and perhaps not at all) what long-term effects these events will have on our lives. So there’s no reason to get upset about them. Accept them for what they are, do what logically can be done, and then let them play out without panicking.
Step 2. Re-Focus
We all know that in every dark cloud there is a silver lining. What is good about the situation as it is now? You are still breathing. The sun still rises every morning (quite beautifully, in fact) and sets at night. In this NOW, there is hope. Nothing in life is permanent. The Wheel of Fortune is still turning. Besides, there are many wonderful things happening right now. No event in our lives happens in a vacuum. So what awesome and amazing things are also happening right now?
Step 3. Celebration
Once you identify those awesome things, find ways to celebrate them in yourself and in others. Send greeting cards for no reason, make unexpected phone calls or even throw a party when it’s not a holiday. Indulge yourself in good friends, fresh air, fun exercise and healthy foods. Be grateful for your life and for the beautiful things and people that envelope you RIGHT NOW.
But most of all, live in the NOW. That’s the only time and place where you are truly living. All the rest is past or future. Embrace the NOW in acknowledgement, gratitude and celebration. You’ll love the person you become and the life you experience.
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